Beds Are For The Weak!

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

I'm going to have to confirm this as indeed fact. In my home there are no bedrooms. In the Norris clan we call them waiting rooms. No...not like doctor's offices.

The easiest way to explain them is to think about a haunted house. You know that room where there's dots all over with a strobe light going off. There's some guy wearing the same pattern in the corner WAITING to scare you. Yeah - Imagine that but 100 times better and with only the style that Chuck can bring.

Sometimes when I'm feeling the stresses of being Chuck I go and wait, while other weaker Chucks would sleep. Sometimes I leave my mansion unlocked and wait for robbers and other would-be evil-doers come in and surprise them with a nice karate chop!

Remember though - Violence is my last option.

Tears of joy; my first post

Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad Chuck Norris never cries.

Well this is simply not true. I do cry. In fact, I cried this morning when I mistakenly broke my $5,000 oak table, which was hand carved from a single 1,000 year old oak tree.

I was just about to enjoy a hearty 29 oz. steak of delicious Texas black Angus, when I karate chopped my knife through the table!

It's a shame that none of those pesky pharmaceutical companies were around. Maybe they could have gotten my one tears for their crazy experimentations or something.

To add onto that - I now have a really huge steak-stain on my floor. Mabye I'll get one of my KickStart kids to come over and try and get it out.